Self-Care Strategies For Parents With Neurodivergent Children
How Can Parents of Neurodivergent Children Prioritize Their Well-Being While Supporting Their Family?
This blog will focus on:
Common emotions parents may share
Consequences of putting your health on back burner
Self-care strategies that you can implement!
Lessons from: Elizabeth Gianetta, UNH Graduate OT Student
May 2025
The Emotional Journey of Parenting A Neurodivergent Child
Parenting a neurodivergent child can be an enriching journey, full of unique joys and meaningful moments. Yet, it also brings complex challenges that can take a real toll on a parent's health and well-being. These difficulties often go unspoken, with many parents quietly carrying emotional and physical stress that isn’t always acknowledged or understood. With that in mind, creating space to talk openly about these shared emotions is essential because it helps normalize the experience and offers comfort to others on a similar journey. Understanding these common emotions is an important first step, so let’s take a closer look at a few emotions that many parents often experience while navigating this journey.
● Isolated: Feeling disconnected from the community and facing limited social supports due to a lack of genuine understanding from others about their daily struggles.
● Overwhelmed: Balancing necessary caregiver demands, juggling doctor appointments, and making tough decisions can stretch parents out thin.
● Scared: Fearing how their child may grow up, the amount of independence and opportunities they’ll be able to have, or how others might treat their children can instill daily fear in parents.
● Guilt: Sometimes, parents may feel at fault for their child’s daily obstacles or feel as though they aren’t doing enough for their child, even if they are.
2. The Importance of Caring For You
While it is important to discuss these difficult feelings, it is equally important to understand the consequences that can happen when parents push these feelings aside and don’t save time to care for themselves too. Naturally, when people ignore their own needs, the impact can take a serious toll on their physical and mental health. Daily stress will continue to build up, patience will spread too thin, and chronic exhaustion will set in. When parents aren’t feeling their best, it becomes even harder to show up for their children in the way that they need or want to. Often times, parents with these neurodivergent children can feel an overwhelming sense of guilt when they need to take time for themselves, as it feels like less time spent providing specialized care for their child. However, prioritizing self-care and allowing space for it, is what ultimately allows parents to communicate clearly, think effectively, and show up for children as their best selves.
3. Self-Care Strategies To Incorporate Into Your Daily Routine
Surprisingly, coming up with self-care ideas can be a bit tricky, especially when burnout has already hit and energy is consistently focused on your child. That’s why this blog will offer you simple, yet effective self-care strategies with the goal of taking one more overwhelming task off your mind and making self-care feel more manageable. Here is a list of self care activities and tips to incorporate into your daily routine to help you reset and recharge for both yourself and your children.
● Journaling:
○ This can be a powerful tool to process or release emotions, and reflect on experiences in a quiet, personal format that can leave you feeling a little lighter afterward. Journaling doesn’t have to take a long time either. A few minutes a day will make a difference and fit easily into your busy life. Remember, noting the positives are just as important when journaling!
● Engage in a hobby:
○ Spending time on hobbies - painting, baking, cooking, gardening, puzzles, or reading - can be more than just a break. It allows you to recharge and rest while doing something that you love and enjoy! It also provides you with the chance to reconnect with who you are outside of being a caregiver.
● Pamper yourself:
○ Nurture yourself through small, gentle tasks to remind yourself that you are deserving of comfort and attention too. Intentional moments in which you can provide care to yourself are taking a warm bath, moisturizing your skin, painting your nails, or even wrapping up in a blanket! There are endless ways to show a little love to yourself.
● Move your body:
○ Tailoring exercise and movement to what works for you is crucial because if you don’t enjoy the movement it will lose its benefit of enjoyment. Daily movement doesn’t have to be intense workouts, but instead can also just be calming walks, yoga, or even stretching while watching a favorite show. Getting movement in each day, no matter how long or what kind of movement, will naturally boost your mood, release any tension held in your body, and even improve your sleep quality.
● Deep breathing & Meditation:
Mindfulness practices function to quiet the mind, calm the nervous system, and reduce stress. These practices are great because they can be used in an intense moment of stress to calm down quickly, or as a preventative to manage emotions before leading to an outburst. Simple techniques can consist of different intentional breathing patterns, listening to guided meditations, or daily body scans. Here is a helpful app that you could download to learn more about mindfulness!
● Listen to a podcast
○ The variety of podcasts today can make this a fun self-care activity to engage in. No matter the mood your in or the interests you have, there will always be something for you to listen to - motivational speakers, true crime, comedy, fitness or even a podcast focused around supporting parents with neurodivergent children! Podcasts allow you to unwind, tune into the present moment, and broaden your perspective on things.
● Join a community group:
○ This is a wonderful opportunity for parents to find a sense of belongingness, receive emotional support, and build connections with people that share similar experiences. Some common groups you can join are parent support groups, special interest club groups, religious groups, advocacy groups, or therapy groups. These can be online support groups or in-person community groups to accommodate all!
● Create a Visual Schedule:
○ With many parents feeling like they are constantly juggling everything at once, creating a schedule will help to organize both your days and your mind. When we lay out all our responsibilities in front of us - tasks, appointments, leisure activities- we free up space in our mind and reduce stress that may come from uncertainty in our routines. This would also be a good opportunity to intentionally block off time to engage in self-care activities!
At its core, parenting a neurodivergent child is a journey full of love, strength, and courage. The unique demands of that journey make it all the more important to prioritize your own well-being along the way. From simple acts of deep breathing or listening to a podcast, to joining a social group or starting a new hobby, each effort is impactful to allow yourself to stay grounded. Always remember that asking for help and support is a sign of strength, and setting healthy boundaries, including saying no when your plate is too full, is a powerful act in itself. Showing up for yourself helps you show up for your child with compassion and clarity.
Want your child to feel supported in a neuro-affirming environment focused on individualism and strengths? Click here to contact us!
References:
https://www.helpguide.org/family/parenting/parenting-a-child-with-a-disability
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/scs.12473
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0738399117301313